


Something to remember me by... When I'm gone...

by divagirlxrm



Series: The Forgotten and her Family. [1]
Category: Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Adorable Everyone, Aunt May's dead, Crying, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Everyone forgot, Everyone's A Family, F/M, Forgive Me, Freeform, Hurt Everyone, Hurt Peter, Hurt/Comfort, I Tried, I'M FULL BLOWN SOBBING, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Panic Attacks, Past Child Abuse, Read at Your Own Risk, Swearing, There Was A Battle, Tony has Cancer, Triggers, Weak Heart, XD you'll understand if you read, Yell at me later!, cancer?, hate me if you will, heart issues, um
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-06-06 12:14:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 9,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15194564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/divagirlxrm/pseuds/divagirlxrm
Summary: Devon Heart, a 14 year old girl who's gone through a lot... only to be forgotten by the only people she felt were family... watch her little Video Diaries she makes so even when her heart stops they'll remember her...





	1. Video Entry: Intoducing

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [I Had To](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14877770) by [Kiki4ever](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiki4ever/pseuds/Kiki4ever). 



“Um, so my name is Devon Autumn Heart… to understand what your about to see I have probably either one died or two my heart stopped and someone started again that or it did it on itself… um to understand why I just said that, uh I’m going to have to tell you about the rare condition I have… um it’s called Devon Heart Syndrome since I’m the very first person to have it and the only to ever have it… I guess I should be happy to be walking medical history, uh… it’s uh- it’s a condition where your heart is very weak and sometimes it’ll just stop for no reason other then it just wanted to stop… because of this condition my heart has stopped over a hundred times by the age of five… you learn to live with it after awhile… as a child your parents are supposed to protect you from this sort of stuff… um… mine were part of the reason why it stopped so much…  
It’s doesn’t matter anyway… uh, so…” she made a weird clicking sound with her mouth ”... other then stopping, my heart has the ability to start all by itself, but if my heart hasn’t started in over an hour… that’s when you know I’m gone… ANYWAY not the point… uh…” she mumbled to herself  
“also you need to know that most of video’s your probably gonna see is me remembering my family… and me… talking about how they forgot me… or just random shit

Anyway… these videos are so you can remember me... even if you only remember the bad parts... hope you cry... actually scratch that I hate crying, just laugh at everything I love the sound of laughter

F.R.I.D.A.Y. End the video.”


	2. Video Entry: #1

“So it’s my first day out of the infirmary… it’s as I feared… none of them remember me, but that’s to be expected when you give up what means the most to you just to win a war… I’ve seen looks of recitation… mostly from Peter because how could you forget the girl who you ‘begged’ not to make you forget?” She hair flipped giggling a little, “he didn’t actually beg me… anyway I’ve gotten some from tony and bruce but other then that no one else seems to remember me… it’s not an issue though… I got myself into this, I knew what would happen if I went through with it…  
In other news um… so far my heart’s only stopped once since I reappeared… which is always a plus… I have nothing to add but this seems so short… I’ll talk one my memories of one of my family members 

So my very first memory of someone was meeting Bruce… or Dr. Banner and Tony aka Mr. Stark… um… I was at this sort of- how do you put it…? Science fair I guess? It was more of an new exhibit hall uh… so Peter had been interning for Mr. Stark for a few months, and he like still had yet to introduce me to the Avengers and Dr. Banner, right? So he invited me to the opening of SI’s newest releases showcase, ah that’s the word. I didn’t wanna go at first but I ended up going anyway because of Peter’s stupid puppy dog eyes… so I was looking at one of Dr. Banner creations… in an off limits area, because the new stuff is nice but i’d rather go look at everything when there are less people you know what I mean? And so Bruce came up and was all like ‘What are you doing back here?’ and so I replied with the dumbest answer that of course was the truth because I don’t know why but I don’t like lying that often I’ll just ignore what they asked me or add a snarky comment but anyway I told him ‘I don’t really like the newest stuff’  
‘Your still not supposed to be back here’ he said… so by now I was internally having a panic attack because one: I can and probably get in trouble for being back here, and two: I LOVE his work like damn.  
‘Well no duh, how about I just leave and you can forget this ever happened’ my stupid… stupid reply.. of course this was the moment Mr. Stark entered with Peter, Tony completely ignored me and went straight to Bruce saying  
‘Brucie Pie, Peter has just informed me that the friend he wants us all to meet just so happens to be here! Let’s go see if we can find them!’ Tony turned seeing me as I waved with one hand saying and I repeat ‘Who are you and why are you back here?’ luckily for me I have a very good friend around aka Peter who came to my rescue, he put his arm around my shoulder as he gestured to both Tony and Bruce ‘Devon meet Mr. Stark and Dr. Banner’ I lightly tapped him upside the head ‘Well no duh Pete’ I was being sarcastic of course

And that my friends is how i met Tony Stark and Bruce Banner… At least I think that was it… I mean Tony was probably being sassy as always and maybe just a little bit annoying, just a little” she chuckled to herself “Bruce may or may not have totally agreed with me about the newer stuff (making Tony complain)… that was a major freakout moment, and Peter my dear sweet little Peter he may have not known his bio parents but I will always be envious of his home life, even now. 

F.R.I.D.A.Y. End the video.”


	3. Video Entry: #2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just gonna say Continue reading at your own risk because I don't really know what warnings to use for future chapters

“So the weirdest thing happened today! I can’t seem to eat, strange right? No it’s not weird” she sighs “it’s a completely normal response IF YOU HAVEN’T EXISTED FOR PAST FEW DAYS!” She yelled whispered  
“now I’m not a stranger to not being able to eat food for three? four? five? reasons, one: not having enough money, two: people just forgetting they had to feed me, three: not being allowed to eat, four: not being able to keep it down and five: sometimes your eating habits are controlled by your emotions and you all know me! Being able to feel others emotions/shift people emotions, on the not so plus side my emotions like to change pretty quickly when someone is feel and really strong emotion… Ha… like today with EVERYONE.  
In other news I have been given free rein over the infirmary so that’s going to be fun… and useful especially with my… condition… Hey maybe I could get Tony to freak out and make vital checking watch type thing…” She looked at the door while she talked “it’s like two am though…

Hey F.R.I.D.A.Y. is Tony awake?”

“Yes Miss Heart” F.R.I.D.A.Y. spoke

“And where might he be?”

“He’s in the living room reading”

“Thank you F.R.I.D.A.Y.”

“Of course Miss”

“I’m gonna go do that now… 

F.R.I.D.A.Y. End the video.”


	4. Video Entry: #3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Totally know this is super short but most of the chapters will be...

A sigh escapes her mouth as the camera turns on “so… my heart stopped again today, twice… so that was fun, also I almost had a panic attack that was so much fun… um I found out that Tony has cancer… for the second time… and I told him I’d help him out with hiding it for the… second time… um sorry if you haven’t told them yet Tony! It’s not my fault that I died… and hopefully my heart started again so you can yell at me later! I’m gonna move on now… there was almost an Hulk issue, only because Bruce found out about my living situation… that was funnier than the panic attack that I almost had because of that! He promised not to tell anyone yet luckily… but he told me I had to tell them soon or yada yada yada you know the normal stuff, and it’s not that I don’t want them to know it’s just I don’t want them to find out in the same way they did the first time… I promised myself I’d tell them before I moved families again and hopefully that’s not soon! I do basically spend the day with the avengers and not my foster home but that’s, that… I haven’t been able to sleep but I’m super tired and so I’m going to bed earlier… night

F.R.I.D.A.Y. End the video.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes Tony has cancer in this, and as I quote "you can yell at me later!"


	5. Video Entry: #4

“So you know when you have a crazy bitch moments? But you never really know if it’s you in that having that moment… yeah… so I had a crazy bitch moment today and I kinda told someone about my condition (not really), aka Peter he may or may not have freaked out on me for ‘not knowing what it’s like to have your heart stop’” Devon deadpanned, “Bitch look at who your talking to… of course he wouldn’t have known that so anyway! F.R.I.D.A.Y.! ROLL THE CLIP!” She whispered yelled the last part

*Cue scene playing on the screen* 

“YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE YOUR HEART STOP?!” Peter yelled at her pacing the room a little, “You never have had to wake up in the morning worrying about the next time your heart stop might never start again!!” Devon looked up from the floor, “Aunt May worried about it everyday Devon… Every. Fucking. Day.”

“And I don’t?” Her voice cracked, “you don’t think that Tony gets up every morning and prays he makes it through the day? Or Clint or Natasha or everyone!? You don’t think that everyone worries about it everyday???” She shook her head slightly, “I should know better then anyone! Everyone worries about ACTUALLY WAKING UP IN THE MORNING! Your Aunt is gone, it will never be better, it will never be easier. But you have people who care about you still alive! And the ones I thought cared about me forgot me. So, get over yourself and just fucking work through the pain together! And stop being such a fool! You have a family! And I-” she cut herself off, and then ran away. But what Peter didn’t know was the word she was about to say… 

*scenes ends and goes back to Devon’s dark room with her in the center*

“Bitchy move right, and I want to go say sorry but I’m not totally sorry I mean he still has good memories of her and he still has people to take care of him… I mean I’m not ungrateful but still… I mean I- not important… and it’s not like I don’t miss her too, she’s my best friends guardian I wouldn’t I miss her?” she looked up at the ceiling as she said “well…” she looked back down, “there are many reasons that could’ve happened but didn’t because she is *cough* was *cough* the sweetest, kindest, most wo-”

“Hey Devon you awake?” Natasha said quietly knocking on the door, Devons eyes went wide

“Shit. I gotta go.” She turned to the door as it opened slowly then the screen went black


	6. Video Entry: #5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had a friend tell me I needed to explain how she has access to FRIDAY... I'm just gonna let you know that in a chapter later on there will be a small moment where she explains it... but doesn't... most of this story was written when I was having emotions, just a fun fact

“Drama!” she said doing a weird hand thing “ok, ok yes we will get to the drama in a minute but first!” she paused for dramatic effect “I don’t feel sick around food anymore!” she laughed quietly to herself, “Now to the drama part… um, so I made Peter cry yesterday which I didn’t know about until Natasha came in, only because I ran off before he started… so everyone’s mad at me because I made Peter cry and he had been doing ‘so good’ these past few days. NO HE HASN’T! I sleep in the room next to his, I can feel his emotions! He isn’t doing any better then when I first showed up! He barely sleeps, eats or talks and when he does talk it’s all depressing shit! I’ve tried to kill myself on countless occasions, I think I should be the only one here who’s allowed to be a depressed teen! I mean yeah he lost his aunt aka his only living relative, mine didn’t want me and look how I turned out 6 years later! Well, it’s not like I’ve any better then him… Not the point, I’m just pissed off (at myself) because I’m not going to say sorry even if I feel bad. He needed a reality check so does everyone fucking else, so fuck the Avengers. and yeah you heard me right, Fuck. The. Avengers. I’m that mad, JUST BECAUSE I MADE POOR LITTLE BABY PETER CRY! I love my Peter but his aunt’s gone and he doesn’t remember me… if he did that conversation wouldn’t have happened earlier… because I remember one time he was freaking out over a test and I slapped him so hard it left a mark for the rest of the day… this was before he had powers of course… I still feel bad for that happening” she laughed “he promised to get me back but he still hasn’t… and then the time I pulled an Edna, I used an news paper which his aunt had rolled up to slap him as I yelled at him,‘You are Spiderman! pull! yourself! Together!’ she chuckles 

“Tony was there for that too… it was a fun was a fun day… I miss them… All of them… I don’t know if winning a war was worth losing them…” she looked to the camera “doesn’t matter anymore I guess, I choose and this is what I get…” she smiled before smirk “There was this time where I caught are two Superspies in a heated make-out, they like totally freaked out on me, IT WAS HILARIOUS. Of course I was most definitely threatened in more ways than one…” She snickered “well I guess if your watching this your secret is out, feel free to follow out with those threats, if I’m not already dead of course! I know, I know I’m so funny knowing I’m probably not going to live that long, kidding! I’ll probably live longer than all you grandma’s including Tony who will probably live longer than Cap, even though he has cancer He WILL live through it… now what was I ranting about? Oh yeah The drama! So yeah everyone hates me so I've been thinking about going into the witness protection program you know to get away from angry Avengers aka some of the most powerful people on earth, you know, the norm. Um in addition to the drama, like I said I don’t feel sick when I smell food anymore and it only took 5 days! I still haven’t been able to sleep because you know the normal nightmares and insomnia, just your everyday superhero!” She snorts “Like anyone would think I'm a superhero… it’s not the biggest deal… oh yeah I found out that Peter has been going out as Spiderman and getting himself hurt, So I’m definitely going to deal with that tomorrow because he finally fell asleep! Score! Let’s just hope he stays that way… I really need a reality check myself… and sleep… I’m gonna go try…

F.R.I.D.A.Y. End the video.”


	7. Video Entry: #6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not uploading the past few days, I've been busy... also some personally stuff has come up so you guys are lucky I already wrote the next couple chapters!

“So… let’s get this straight, No I have not told anyone about my living issue, No not everyone has found out Tony has Cancer yet, No Peter has not talked to me yet, Yes it’s still the middle of the day but this couldn’t wait… so me and Tony were using the infirmary for his cancer treatment because I’m the only one who knows how to do it that knows, when Natasha came in to find me… and that sparked an interesting conversation… Now I’m about to go say sorry to Peter because no one besides Natasha and Tony (because of his cancer) will talk to me. Or make me food… so I haven’t eaten anything today because I can’t cook very well… and this morning breakfast was already over by the time I got down there because F.R.I.D.A.Y. glitched out… I know he did because I, um hacked (I think is the word) his programing so if anyone tried to find out about my condition he would glitch if they didn’t have the password. But of course it had to backfire… so I missed breakfast and according to F.R.I.D.AY. everyone went out for lunch… and I’m starving!… meaning I’m bearly hungry at the moment but still want to eat something! And the worst part of this whole ordeal is that ever since I gave Peter and reality check he’s be doing better! Dear God people do you even see he’s ACTUALLY GETTING BETTER?! NO! Your so caught up that I made him cry that you don’t notice he’s doing better!” she sighed her shoulders falling “I mean… it’s not a big deal, right?.. I should probably go apologise now… I’ll fill you in later” The screen goes black, then comes back on as it shows her sitting in the same place as she always been but it’s now dark

“Ok so I said sorry and Peter has yet to forgive me… it’s not that I don’t care but-”she cut herself short “you know what it doesn’t matter because it’s just personally issues I have with apologizing... I didn’t eat dinner even though I could’ve, I guess I just wasn’t hungry... “ Devon rubbed her eyes before she started coughing, “I think I’m getting sick… I’m probably already am I mean I basically spent today and yesterday outside in the cold… This is not good for my heart!” Devon giggled “if you ever wish everyone could forget you. Don’t. I say from haven’t that happen… IT SUCKS cause you remember them and you may or may not love them and even if you don’t, like a bully or something... if a bully remembered me I would be so happy that SOMEONE I knew remembered me! Oh yeah in other news my heart has stopped about 10 times since I woke up in the infirmary… soon I’m gonna lose count cause usually when my heart stops it stops for a few minutes or just seconds! So it feels like I just blinked or fell asleep you know normal stuff… the stuff I can really tell after I lose track is if- if it’s been more than 10 minutes after it’s stopped then when it starts again I get this like shock when I open my eyes and I know… I want to tell them, but I don’t because I want them to remember me first… Oh yeah adding to that when I say something like a nickname or something I normally say, a lot confusion flashes over everyone’s face... you know the look of you’ve heard that before but don’t know where from? That type of confusion! I’m just like score because THEIR REMEMBERING ME! Yay!” she coughed again this time more violent before going on to say “I should take some medicine… and besides Nat wants me to try sleeping sooner in the day.. So I gotta go before she checks on me

F.R.I.D.A.Y. End the video.”


	8. Video Entry: #7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wait... What'd she just say?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I Felt like posting a second chapter today. Sooo here it is!

“Everyone’s still kinda pissed that I made Peter cry but at least Peter forgave me! Whoo! Um Tony started losing his hair today… at least the medicine is working, this time I had Nat to help me get him settled while I did it… If Bruce knew, it would be so much easier… but stubborn Tony! I guess I shouldn’t complain, I mean really? Me? complaining? Never!” Devon laughed before it was cut short as she started coughing “Totally *cough* and *cough* completely *cough* ok *cough* here…” and finally she stopped coughing “yeah fuck breathing!” she made herself chuckle “moving on… I haven’t been in the right headspace for the past couple days… um, I honestly think it’s because of no one remembering me and me not being able to sleep... I’ve never thought I’d live this long… and I could die right in this moment without explanation and I wouldn’t be able to tell anyone all the memories I have of them… 

Like Sam he’s the best cook in the entire WORLD but the ‘first’ time me and him tried baking we burned the cookies, everyone of course ate them so we wouldn’t feel bad… the funny part is we planned to burn them so everyone would eat burned cookies because I am a amazing baker. It’s a fact. Or the time that I beat Clint in a game of hide and seek. OOoo or that time I hid Steve’s shield which of course Bucky helped with, and the time I replaced all of Tony’s clothes with Hulk PJ’s… and the time Nat and I forced the boys to play just dance with us, and I will never forget the time Bruce told everyone that he created a substance that could kill anyone so he got to watch as everyone freaked out, and the first time Thor ate a Poptart… and Peter… the way his eyes light up everytime he aces a test… I remember the first test he ever aced, he raced home told his Aunt and Uncle then ran all the way to my house to tell me! Luckily for me my parents weren’t home… this was of course before they put me up for adoption… so anyway Aunt May and Uncle Ben raced over in their car to take us out for ice cream. That was one of the best days in my life… And I know that Peter doesn’t remember that I was- *cough* am as close with his Aunt as he is… he lost his Aunt or better known as his mom… but I lost mine too… she was the closest thing I had to an actual mom. I mean for fucks sake my mom and dad disowned me! At the age of 8! Because they didn’t want to have to deal with me… after me going through 8 years of abuse because of them! THEY put me up for adoption! Do you know how sick that is? I’m probably never going to forgive them. And forget me telling anyone about it! Peter’s the only one who’s alive who knew besides my parents of course… Aunt May knew… but she’s gone now because of a stupid heart attack that happened while me and Peter were fighting… none of us could’ve saved her… the doctors said she died as soon as it happened…” Deven whipped the stray tears that fell from her eyes “I’m gonna go either pass out or have a cup of hot chocolate…” She broke into a cough, then continued

I’ll have hot coco first, unless my heart wants to stop before I have some…

F.R.I.D.A.Y. End the video.”


	9. Video Entry: #8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is Triggering. If any of the tags could trigger you... DON'T READ THE CHAPTER.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DOUBLE TRIGGER WARNING. Don't read if any of the tags could trigger you!

“EVERYONE KNOWS TONY HAS CANCER! Well besides the whole world of course… but Tony had to tell everyone because he couldn’t keep the secret of why his hair was falling out.. And stuff like that… everyone was very supportive and stuff so that was good. Um so I found out Bruce told everyone last night about my living issue and they freaked out on me today, like can you imagine? Um, I’ve made more progress with helping everyone remember! I will not share this info just yet but it’s promising!” Devon yawned as she ran her hand over her face, she closed her eyes “I’m just so tired… I feel like death since death never sleeps… the nightmares are just getting to be to much for me… I should really tell someone… it’s not that I don’t want to but I just forget or can’t find the right place to tell them, ya know?” Devon opened her eyes slowly with a sigh, “God I need sleep and it’s mostly just nightmares keeping me up!” her shoulder slumped 

“None of them ever remembering me. Tony dying. Thor dying. Steve dying. Bucky dying. Natasha dying. Clint dying. Sam dying. Bruce dying. Peter dying. And the worst one! The one I’ve had since I was little… the real one… me as a little girl hiding in my bedroom as my parents banged on the locked door, both drunk or high as hell and when they finally break through…” tears started running down her face as she started choking on her words

“they just start beating me over and over and I can’t make it stop, I cry out for help but no ones there… no can save me from the monsters that were my parents… and I try, I try. to stop them myself but they don’t listen to me and it just repeats over and over. The fear, The pain, The anger, The sadness Everything! Over and over when finally I wake up and find out I’ve only been sleeping for 10 to 20 minutes, and no one- No One. can tell me it’s just a dream! They can’t. it was- it was real! I lived that life for- for 8 years... 8! Before I was put up for adoption by… by both of them… and they- they weren’t drunk or high or both… they were completely in their right minds! They f-fucking beat me to death! Only to give me up at 8! I mean I’m not sad they gave me up I’m beyond thrilled!” Lies “But still- I FUCKING FLINCH WHEN ANYONE TOUCHES ME BECAUSE OF THE MONSTERS! And their- their probably getting drunk and high in some- some s-shithole! And haven’t… haven’t given me a second thought to the fucking child they BEAT TO DEATH! They made my heart stop! Sometimes… sometimes I like to blame them for all the shit I go through... But not all of it is their doing… yes the first 8 years of my life were torn away from me by them and now I have lots of is-issues, but I can’t blame them for basically getting myself killed on a mission or- or making everyone forget about me just TO WIN A FUCKING BATTLE! Me and 14 year old child! Gave up people's memories of me just to win a MOTHERFUCKING BATTLE! A battle they shouldn’t have even fought in but noooo they wanted to be a heroes… I guess they’ve always been the selfless people everyone says they are… I guess I’ve almost reached my breaking point… everyone has one… Peter reached his when his Aunt died… I don’t know how much more shit I can go through before I do break…? I loved my parents but the first time they hit me that love was replaced with fear and pain. And when they put me up for adoption that fear got replaced with anger… and now I know the Avengers are going to find my real parents call them up and probably try and get them to adopt me because the Avengers won’t know any of this- this shit! And if they find out my parents put me up for a adoption… I hacked the record to change the year so no one would know… soo… you see how that would backfire... “ Devon sighed wiping her tears away “I’m an emotional mess right now… I’m going to bed… before I have another break down” She snorts “Yeah... I’m definitely going to have one in the next few minutes

F.R.I.D.A.Y. End the video.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm gonna go cry now


	10. Video Entry: #9 (Part One)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Umm.. I have a feeling you'll want to bury me after this... XD what a pun...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me forever to finish since I wasn't happy with the ending when I first wrote it... it's changed now... and you're not gonna be happy. Also there are some people who helped me write this by giving me idea's... soo shout out to itsyourboi_aurus, anonycat over on Discord, and Web_HeadSuperFan. Thanks for your help!

The screen went fuzzy as it showed the Avengers all in what looked like security cameras. Suddenly each of the Avengers disappeared and the only ones left were Devon and Peter before they looked at something off camera and Peter tackled Devon causing the screen to go black, next thing you know Devon’s voice rang into the blackness with a sigh and it sounded like she had started talking to herself

“So me and Peter are trapped under a building. At the moment Peter is out and from what I can tell he has a concussion, busing on his chest which may or may not mean one or more of ribs may be broken which also so means possible punctured lung, cuts on his legs and back probably from glass and like I said before he’s out cold… I on the other hand don’t have a concussion. My leg is stuck under something and I can’t move it (no fucking duh), I’m pretty sure I’m bleeding from some place, my whole body feels unbelievably weak and I have no idea what’s going on or what happened…” Devon sighed as you hear shuffling and muffled cries of pain from two voices “Try one on waking up our little spider” a small tapping noise made it’s to her ears “Peter! Peter!” no response, so she tried again, “Peter! Come on wake up bud!” again no response, so she tried one last time “PETER!” a muffled groan filled the room 

“What happened?” Peter asked as he bit back a scream of pain, Devon’s cold laugh rang through the small area they happened to be stuck in, which was cut short from a colorful string of curse words and quiet cry of pain

“Building fell on us Dumbo, now stay still or you’ll hurt yourself!” Devon lightly hit his shoulder, as she scrunched up her face in pain before breathing out “Now.. do you have anything that could contact the others to see if their alright? P-Peter! Keep your eyes open, you hear me? I want to close mine too but we can’t do that in a situation like this!” More shuffling and a few groans later. Then a few minutes later a sigh of relief filled the air, “just start talking to yourself, Devon… you know so you don’t fall asleep, or talk to Peter even though he’s out cold… ya know um, start talking about your memories… whichever ones come to mind first… well um, right before we went into the heat of battle, Peter took me aside and asked me to hang out later… I told him we’ll see after we win… His last words to me before he forgot was ‘don’t let me forget’… look how that turned out… your now stuck under a building with the guy you like, who just so happens to not remember you! So fun!” Devon took a shaky breath 

“Bruce loves Dora he watches with Tony and Steve every Wednesday night at exactly 11:30 pm and if they don’t start it by that time they skip watching it at all and live in denial for the next week. Tony ‘secretly’ worships Bill Nye the science guy, he even has merch. Peter was scared to come out as Bi to the Avengers, but most of them already figured it out and are totally chill about it… though a few of them are still confused how the others found out. Natasha has a teddy bear she doesn’t like sleeping without because Clint gave it to her as a valentines present last year aka their 1 year anniversary.” She swallowed and took another shaky breath before she continuing, “Sam and Clint have a pet bird they take care of together… it’s named Samlint… Bucky and Peter like driving up alongside Tony’s car on Bucky’s motorcycle.. And waiting to see how long it takes him to notice them… they also place bets on the way back on how pissed off Tony is… everyone else places bets on how long it took Tony to realize it’s them...“ She chuckled quietly shifting ever so slightly only to cry out in pain as she took a shallow breath moving something 

“Bucky has a major crush on Steve and Steve has one Bucky... don’t know why they don’t tell each other it’s just silly to watch them googly eye each other… Clint likes yelling the floor is lava… which makes the others confused, except Nat, Peter and me… Natasha usually hops on the counter and perches herself on there… she’s used to that shit from Clint… Peter shrieks most of the time and jump onto the nearest thing… and just clings like his life depends on it… the first time this happened the nearest thing was Tony... then Clint made a game out of seeing which Avengers he could get Peter to stick to… Loki visited once when Clint did it, and while the others got confused he made the floor fake lava… that was a fun day… Shuri synthesized fake lava after T'challa stopped playing along… He’s the only other one who knows what’s going on... Thor has a secret Girlfriend her names Jane and she amazing… at least that what he told me when I caught him on the phone with her… which I had no idea he knew how to use… Tony- Tony makes the best hot chocolate and- and he can help a lot when it comes to feelings… he’s not as- as heartless as every- everyone says he is… they also sometimes rent r-random… random cars and-” Peter let out a soft groan, 

“Petey?” another groan “not in… in the talking mood are we?” she giggled quietly before taking a swallow breath “Yeah me either but… but we have to stay awake… so- so where… where was I? Oh yeah… and cut Tony off… and- and do little things like that to… to p-piss him off… he used to get home and complain to you about it… ya know father son bonding time… Clint and S-Sam like to go to… and they- they got Thor to go with them o-once… You and Thor found a puppy and c-co-parent fabulously, although-” a cough racked through her body before coming to a painful stop, “it- it stays with Thor most of the time... N-Nat has-.. She has a secret stash of-of hot chocolate o-only because Clint kept stealing it… and- and both you and I know where it is… no one besides us and Nat know… whenever Shuri visits or when we vis-visit her, if any of us yell-... yell ‘this B empty’ everyone has to-...” another cough from two different people “has to t-throw what-whatever they’re holding as-as far away a-as they can and scream ‘Yeet’ like their life depends on it... Bruce’s mother died of cancer and so he kinda freaked out when Tony told everyone he had Cancer… luckily it’s not the same cancer… his mom had breast cancer and Tony has lung cancer…” 

“I didn’t…” Peter coughed, “know that…” he finished

“Yeah… w-well there’s a lot you guys don’t-… don’t know about each other… like- like how Tony hates the silence it’s why when people stop talking he s-starts... or-or when he’s alone he always listening to music… because his da- Howard always told him to keep his mouth shut and be quiet… all- all the time, so now that he’s an adult he always wants something in the background… I think it’s to remind himself that Howard’s not here anymore… and everytime someone tell him to be quiet or shut up, if you watch his eyes you can see his heart break just a little as he remembers...” small moving noises made its way to their ears

“Are you sure that’s true? Or did you just make that up?” this time it was Devon turn to cough

“You remember when I told you none of you should remember me but I’m family? Yeah he told me awhile back… I was kinda the one that helped everyone with emotional stuff and that just happened to be one of the many things I helped Tony with… or like you, where you keep blaming yourself for your Uncle Ben’s death and now your Aunt’s... you even blame yourself for your parents deaths even though you were only 4 or so… your favorite color is now purple because it was your Aunt’s favorite… and you actually hate chocolate chips but not chocolate it’s like an emotional sentiment of your parents since you remember making chocolate chips cookies with them before they went on that plane… and now everytime you eat or see chocolate chips you feel just a bit sick but deal with it because you don’t want anyone to know…” Devon coughed again

“I didn’t think anyone knew that… did I tell you?” Peter stared up at Devon who sighed looking down at him before biting back a whimper of pain

“No… I just pay attention… I’m shocked no one else noticed yet… how long do you think we’ve been down here?” Peter looked around the small space before groaning out as he sat up and turned to look at Devon

“I don’t know… an hour or so?” Devon nodded

“Feels like longer…” he mumble before he nodded off again

“Have you tried yelling for help yet??” Devon almost hit him upside the head for that

“T-that was the… the first thing I tried…” she replied trying to breath through the pain

“Well-... well w-what do we do now?” Peter asked his voice shaking.

“We… we wait, try not-” she coughed “try not to fall asleep… an-and p-pray they f-find us soon…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TOLD YOU


	11. Video Entry: #9 (Part One and a Half)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know this is short but you should have something.

Both of their breathing got quieter.

“Devon?” A small hum was the answer “when d-do you th-think some… someone’s coming?” A cough and a hiss of pain later came a reply.

“De-… depends on wh-what’s going… up a-above…” she answered ending with another cough and a few ‘manly’ wimpers. Shifting from above them made they’re breathing hitch, as a few yells were made from somewhere up there and a few gunshot sounds maybe… Peter piped up at that moment yelling,

“A-ANYONE! WE’RE DO-DOWN HERE!” Just yelling made in want to scream out in pain. Then he felt a small tap on his arm as Devon’s raspy voice made its way to his ears.

“You… you d-don’t kn-...” she took a sharp breath as pain ran up her leg, “y-you don’t k-know who… who they ar-are…”

“Bet- *cough* better th-*cough* then s-staying *cough* down… *cough* down here…” he argued. She let out a noise that was kinda like a laugh but sounded more like letting out a breath.

“Tr-true.” she coughed, “If-if th-they *cough* ar-e *cough* the-the *cough b-bad *cough* bad… g-guys *coughs* i-i want to… *cough* to h-have the fir- *cough* first hit.”

“S-sure why… why no-not?” Peter replied before they both drifted off.

They woke up to yells cause both Devon and Peter to flinch.

“PETER! DEVON!” that didn’t sound like anyone she knew, but if they knew her name it’s better than nothing.

“DO-DOWN *cough* HE-RE!” she broke into coughs as Peter yelled.

“WE’RE D-DOWN… DOWN HE-HERE!” 

“GUYS THEY’RE OVER HERE!!!” of course he or she was yelling at someone else, “DO YOU KNOW HOW BAD YOUR INJURED”

“PET-PETER HAS- HAS A CON-CONCUSSION! B-B-BUSING ON- ON HIS CH-CHEST MOST L-LIKELY BROKE-BROKEN RIBS! CUTS- CUTS ALL O-OVER! MY- MY LEG IS-IS S-STUCK UND-UNDER SO-SOME… SOMETHING. P-PRETTY SU-SURE I’M B-BLEEDDING FROM SOME-WHERE! OTH-OTHER T-THEN THAT… NO- *cough* NO I-IDEA!” more cough racked her already pain filled body making her wanna cry more. Of this was the moment her heart chose to stop. More yells from above was what kept Peter awake.

“WE’RE GONNA GET YOU GUYS OK?” Peter would have answered but the sounds and movement above them were to loud so they wouldn’t hear him anyway. He took a sharp breath which was barely heard so when he started talking to Devon and she didn’t answer he start freaking out, because wasn’t she just talking a minute ago???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> small but emotion filled I will make no apology


	12. Video Entry: #9 (Part Two)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Second Part to the thing I added. aka They finally got out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY FUCKING GOD I AM SO SORRY! Writers Block is a bitch and I hate her! but here you go!

The sounds had all but gone silent and faint yelling could be heard Peter on the other hand had nodded off shortly after that, only to be woke by sudden movement followed by a bang and gasps... the only other person here was... Devon.

“D-Devon?” he said as loudly as his raspy voice would let him. The gasps turned into coughs then a small almost silent voice which he wouldn’t have caught if he didn’t have advanced hearing

“I’m alive…” it was for some reason a shock to her… Oh yeahhhhh… she trapped with Peter under a building with no way out, no space to really move and her just happened to want her to live for some reason… when they get out of this she was going to kill whoever made this happen… 

“De-Devon? How- *cough* how a-are… *cough* you feel-feeling?” Peter. At least he’s still breathing.

“How- *cough* lo- *cough* long *cough* was-” she settled her coughing before continuing, “was I-I out?” 

“I… I don’t k-know… 20 minutes... or- or so?” he took a shaky breath

“Have-” she got cut off by someone yelling

“DEVON? PETER? LISTEN TO ME, OK? WE’VE MADE OUR TO YOU BUT YOU BOTH ARE GONNA HAVE TO STAY VERY STILL AND KEEP YOUR HEADS DOWN FOR THIS NEXT PART! CAN YOU DO THAT FOR ME?!” Devon yelled as loud as her vocal cords would let her making the pain in her chest spike 

“WE-WE’LL D-DO OUR BEST!” 

“WE’RE GONNA START IN THREE. TWO. ONE!” the noises they heard before were loud then ever as dust start raining down on the two.

After a few minutes of this light shined in both of their eyes making both of them look up, Devon watched as they pulled Peter out and someone jumped in the hole with her. The only thing she could make out of him was the S.H.I.E.L.D. logo on his shirt… ah so they are for them. She sighed as she closed her eyes.

“Devon?! Look at me!” She let out a huff but opened them anyway, looking up at the young man. He let out a sigh, “Devon we’re gonna move the stuff from on top of your leg ok? It’s going to hurt a LOT but it’s to help you. Ok?” All Devon could manage was a slight nod before the pain coming from her leg erupted and do to all the coughing she’d been doing she couldn’t even scream. So she just sat there in silent pain when her whole world went into blackness only hearing the man's voice yelling her name.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y. End the Video."


	13. Video Entry: #10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bum De Ba Duh, here you go! hopefully *cough cough* the next chapter will be more eventful

Devon came into view with a bandage around her head. The only thing other than her head that you could see was her shirt.

“I wasn’t allowed out of the infirmary for weeks. Meaning there’s a lot i need to catch you up on… of course I can’t exactly say everything because I have a bedtime. But that’s only because Bruce went into both doctor mode and dad mode… even if I missed it… a bedtime, are you fucking kidding me? Seriously Bruce! Get your act together!” she let out a breath that kinda sounded like a small laugh, “anyway, I’m probably not gonna get much sleep tonight do to nightmares being more… more than I can handle. But then again who wouldn’t have nightmares after being trapped under a building?” Devon stifled a yawn as she rubbed her eyes, “Peter’s fine. Thank you super healing! And even if he’s still recovering, he has it better off. I mean i may have a brain that doesn’t go brain/body that doesn’t really die if my heart stops for 30 minutes so… I guess that’s cool… but I-” She fell into a fit of coughs

“Would you like me to inform Bruce of your coughing and spiked heart rate Miss Heart?” FRIDAY’s voice rang throughout the room, but Devon waved her hand before her coughing stopped

“No need FRIDAY…” Devon said before stating

“Just End the video.”


	14. Video Entry: #11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “My head is full on throbbing, I’m aching all over, everyone else is fine! You know I’m-” Devon started a coughing fit, that quickly starting to sound like she couldn’t breath...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY FUCKING GOSH I'M SO SORRY! This took so long! Mostly because of writers block! please forgive me!

“My head is full on throbbing, I’m aching all over, everyone else is fine! You know I’m-” Devon started a coughing fit, that quickly starting to sound like she couldn’t breath...

“Are you sure I shouldn’t inform Bruce? He probably has something that can help.” F.R.I.D.A.Y. spoke in a voice that sounded concerned. Devon after she stopped coughing dismissed him.

“No F.R.I.D.A.Y., I’m fine…” she took a breath as tears sprang to her eyes, “I’m just not ok” she choked out before going into another fit, wheezing as she tried catching her breath. Her hand coming up to her chest trying to keep the pain away as she pressed down.

“Of course your not ok. I have notified Bruce as of right now.” F.R.I.D.A.Y. said making devon glare up at the ceiling.

“I’M FINE!” she screamed, “I’m just not mentally or emotionally ok! And haven’t been able to sleep because all the nightmares that keep me up at night! It’s nothing I haven’t dealt with before!” she yelled as one of the many tears in her eyes rolled down her cheek. She flung her arms up, “you hear me!? I am emotionally distressed and don’t need someone to tell me everything's going to be alright because it’s not! Nothing will be ok! I’ll end up- end up being forced to stay with my parents! Then I’ll start having panic attacks every night! Not that I don’t already do! And I’ll never be able to see any of the avengers anymore! And if any of them get hurt while I could’ve helped them if I was only there… you won’t begin to understand how I feel until everyone who you love forgets you! Until you deal with the aftermath of abusive parents! Until one of your best friends gets trapped under a building with you and you don’t know if you’ll make long enough for him to remember you! Or… or the man who was like a real father to you doesn’t even know your name… I saw him the other day… and… and he didn’t even- he didn’t…” tears run down her face as Bruce walks in, “He didn’t even remember my name! He didn’t know who I was or why I was there! And he- he promised me he’d adopted me when he had the money… he promised… I was going to have a dad… a real one… and I messed everything up…” that’s the moment she broke down going into full out sobbing before she started coughing harshly. Bruce appeared in front of her helping her through her cough before wrapping her in his arms while she mumbled stuff that only Bruce could hear a sad expression on his face as he whispered to her. Then there was a small little voice that whispered, “You promised you wouldn’t forget me…” it was in that moment Bruce almost broke down himself… as she said the words in a mumble that only F.R.I.D.A.Y. would understand.

“End the fucking video.”


	15. Video Entry: #12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Devon’s voice spoke out into the darkness as she slowly came into view, clearly in distress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate myself for this chapter...

Devon’s voice spoke out into the darkness as she slowly came into view, clearly in distress 

“I haven’t recorded myself the past few days… I just haven’t been stable enough to do so… God I sound so weak. So yeah… um,” Devon’s eyes looked up from her hands for a moment before she looked back down, “Can someone lie to my face and tell me everything’s going to be ok?” she looked up “Please?” her voice broke as tears sprang to her eyes, she stayed that way for a minute or to before she looked back to her hands, “I’ve just been going… going through a lot lately… I always thought I’d be stronger,” she snorted looking up once again “guess how that turned out…” she covered her mouth as she started coughing… again… clearing her throat as it stopped “Um, I remember meeting the rest of avengers... I was like totally starstruck… as everyone is when they first meet their heroes…” her breathing hitched, as her eyes looked anywhere but the camera, 

“Steve was really sweet as always… Clint cracked a few jokes… as always… Natasha and Bucky both watched me probably looking for the threat… Sam happened to be making dinner… the food was as good as always…” she snorted quietly as she slowly started choking on her words, “I need to stop saying that- Tony… Tony of course w-was working in his lab…” she paused, “as always…” she added after a moment a small smile making its way onto her face as she looked up at the ceiling, “Peter was showing me off which sparked a lot of comments from Clint saying that I was his girlfriend only to be smacked upside the head by none other than his own girlfriend Nat… Br-Bruce was trying to get Tony to come up… and, and Thor he was just a big softy…” her voice cracked, 

“and everyone was just really nice… and they all understood the superhero stuff… all the worries you have… the people you love.. The one you can’t save… the ones you could’ve but didn’t make it in time… the ones that just wanted to hurt you for no reason… the monsters that wake you up in the middle of the night because their real…” A tear ran down her face that she quickly whipped away. “Finding the hope you thought you lost years ago… finding a family you never thought you’d have, finding a Home.” there was a soft knock on the door, “come in…” Devon said quietly as Peter opened the door.

“You didn’t come out of your room all day, are you ok?” he spoke quietly as he stood there with his hand on the knob… he already knew the answer cause after what they all went through how could someone be ok? While staring at the camera she whispered

“No.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?” you could barely see his face in the darkness

“No.” her voice sounded ready to break

“Do you want me to stay?” she stared at the camera as a tear rolled down but she never said anything, “Um” Peter rubbed his neck before shutting the door as he said. “Goodnight then…” she just stayed like that for another minute while tears streamed down her face

“FRIDAY…”

“Yes?”

“End the video, please…” her voice broke before she disappeared from view


	16. Video Entry: #13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So it’s been awhile… and I’m so fucking done with everyone and everything! ..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW I actually updated for once! SHOCKING! anyway here you go something I wrote while angry... at what I have no clue.

“So it’s been awhile… and I’m so fucking done with everyone and everything! They all say I don’t fucking understand! Well you know what?! they’re the ones that don’t fucking understand! Everyone fights their own battles! I don’t need someone to tell me that! I don’t need someone to help me get through this! I’ve gone through worse! I’ve dealt with kinda stuff before! I’m not fucking clueless!” Devon took a breath breath closing her eyes before continuing, 

“Whoever said I didn’t know what it feels like to lose your family was wrong… I do know what it feels like. I do. And you know what? Everyone who says it’s not the end of the world should shut the fuck up! Because when you’ve lost everyone you love, it is the end of the world. At least for you. When the people you care about most hate you, or don’t remember you, or are just fucking dead! It’s the end of the world suckers! So fuck anyone who thinks otherwise! I will murder you in your fucking sleep! That’s right bitch! Not really… but I will shut you down unless you know how it feels! I know first hand what it feels like to lose family… I had to watch them die, before I ended the battle… you know why? BECAUSE OF A FUCKING PSYCHOPATH! A Psychopath that wanted to kill EVERYONE. And I had fucking watch my family die, One. By. One. 

I was forced to watch each and every one of them, Die. Now if you know any of them, they all died trying to save one another… They all died trying to save Me. Don’t tell me it wasn’t my fault they died because I didn’t tell them, and now look at where I am! I’m trying to get them all to remember me and yet… I don’t want them too… once they do all my secrets will be out… no more hiding, no more avoiding the truth… because you know what? It was my fault a psychopath killed them even though he was only after me… he was my villain… my battle… and they died because of it… they died because I didn’t tell them anything about my villains… I didn’t tell them anything about the psycho’s I put behind bars… I mean they watched the news and read the paper and everything… but the news doesn’t cover the person… just the crimes… if you actually sit down with my villains… they’re mentally insane. I know this because of the way they act. I deal with psychopaths… I- that’s how my family died. And now- now that they’ve started to re-remember I don’t want them to!..” Devon looked at her hands and repeated, 

“I don’t- I don’t want them to… why? Why don’t I want them-” tears started falling, “I don’t want them to-… I don’t-” Devon looked at her hands a minute more before wiping away her tears looking up.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y. end the video.” She said standing before the screen goes black once more.


	17. Video Entry: #14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “God knows we’re all broken in some way”

“You know what this might all just be pointless..” Devon appeared with a sigh “I mean there's a chance that I’ll die before everyone remembers.. And these won’t even matter.. I get I started making these so you could remember me when I die.. Does it evening matter if I continue to make these? If I continue to share how I feel and what I’ve going through if the people who are going to watch them won’t even remember half the stuff I’m talking about?” She looked upwards 

“God knows we’re all broken in some way” She looked back at the screen

“I don’t and do want them to remember.. I have reasons for each.. But in this case.. I think it’s better if they don’t and I just disappear at some point and they won’t even have to deal with me again.. Now this would be the best option if they weren’t the Avengers and didn’t have millions of things to track me down with.. And besides I’m not Bruce, I don’t know how to run off to some third world country and not get caught for a few years..” she sighed

“You know.. This is probably the only video of me not crying over some reason.. Maybe because I’ve just accepted this as my new life.. Me knowing stories that they will never know but instead have stories that I’ll never know.. I always thought my life would be boring.. But I guess little me was wrong.. I don’t think I’m happy about that..” Devon let out a breath, “Until next time then”

“F.R.I.D.A.Y. End the video for me.”


	18. Video Entry: #15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'M BACK BITCHES

“I’m back bitches.” Devon appeared once again on the screen. “Also I ran into a fucking asshole today and like fuck them. I was just trying to have a nice walk in the park and they spilled their hot coffee all over me and had the decency to blame it. On. Me. such a asshole.

On the note of Coffee. I tried to have some this morning because I had a ruff night and do you know what happened? People kept taking my cup from me and telling me I was too young to drink it… um, I swear tony started drinking it when he was like five, so fuck you.

Did you know that most people don’t want to talk about they’re death, that is going to happen at some point. They just want to live in bliss and harmony for as long as possible. But uh, my life has already been destroyed in that aspect. And my logic is now ‘If I’m going down, I’m taking you with me’ So your death will happen any day now whether you like it or not.” Devon glances at the door, and looks back.

“I gotta get to bed, Signing off with a smile for once.

F.R.I.D.A.Y. End the video.”


End file.
